Thursday, December 14, 2006


Here’s how I mentally approach meeting a new
woman: I’m cocky and funny, I steal their lines, I tease
them, and I don’t ever give them a break.
In my opinion, your most valuable asset, no matter
your looks, height, age, or income – is humor.
I don’t care if you’re four feet tall and have one eye.
If you can make women laugh consistently and get those
good feelings flowing through them, they’ll love you.
I decided last year to start actually STUDYING
comedy, as I’ve found that people (women) respond to it
better than any other thing in the whole entire universe.
So I did a bunch of research on the Internet to find the
best books, and I bought about 5 or 6 of them.
One book that I read called Comedy Writing Secrets
by Melvin Helitzer made a great point. He said that the
majority of humor revolves around the CHARACTER and
not the jokes.
Most of the guys that I meet who want to learn to
meet women are working on the ‘jokes’ in their life and
not the ‘character’. I did it for about two years myself. I
tried to learn all kinds of lines and B.S.
It finally dawned on me that women were not really
that concerned with all of that… they wanted a particular
CHARACTER. The lines didn’t matter as long as they fit in
with the character. Now that I have created this
CHARACTER for myself, things are all different. Women
now call me. They pursue me. They want to be around
me. It’s strange, magical, and weird.
So what’s the character that they want? Good
I have a good friend who’s the best I’ve ever seen at
picking up women in bars and having sex with them that
night. Now, I do better getting numbers and following up.
But this guy is just a machine. And his whole mindset
towards meeting women is to be “cocky and funny” (his
words). My opinion is that women are turned off by
arrogant men… UNLESS… they’re DAMN FUNNY. This
magic combination will attract women like Bill Clinton
attracts chubby interns. I’m following in my buddy’s
I’ll try to summarize the character that I’ve
“I know that this girl is secretly trying to pick me up…
I’m going to play hard to get, make fun of her, be
indifferent towards her, and generally bust her balls as
much as possible. I know that she loves a guy that is so
sarcastic that it makes her nervous, so I’m going to really
keep the heat on… and when she starts to show any
interest at all on the outside, I’m going to blow her off
and make her prove to me that she wants me… so I can
reject her again.”
I do crazy things, like if I’m standing next to a girl at
a bar, I’ll turn to her and say in a completely serious
voice, “Will you PLEASE stop touching me?” And then look
them right in the eye.
Or say, “What are you doing at a bar for godsakes?
Can’t you find a nice normal guy? Or are you desperate?”
All with a completely straight face.
I say things that make them actually think that I’m
serious, but leave a shadow of a doubt.
Here’s what I’m looking for: If they respond in an
insecure way and say, “Oh, I’m sorry… I didn’t know that
I was touching you”, I’ll keep it going… and say, “Well,
you did. And if you’re going to keep doing it, I’d
appreciate it if you’d touch a little higher.” They crack up.
If they shoot something funny back like, “Well, touchy
touchy” and they know that I’m kidding, I just stay in
character and say, “Yes, I don’t like being touched. So
keep a foot or so between us please” and keep it going.
And yes, sometimes (not often) I’ll meet a cold one
and she’ll get uptight – I just walk away.
If you’re going to do this, you have to remember to
keep it going for the entire time… don’t turn into a dumb
ass at the first sign of her liking you. Keep up the
character, play hard to get, etc. forever!

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