Thursday, December 14, 2006

It All Comes Down To Your Skills.

Having a problem? You need a new skill.
If you have some area of your life that isn’t working
for you, you probably need a new SKILL.
I realized a few years ago that most people look at
themselves and say things like, “There must be
something WRONG WITH ME. I don’t know why. I just
can’t do it.”
But, in fact, the problem wasn’t something ‘wrong’
with them; the problem was that they needed to learn a
new skill or a set of skills.
Meeting women comes down to SKILLS. If you’re
having a problem in a particular area, get new skills to
deal with it. For instance, if you have learned to meet
women and get phone numbers, you might start having
them flake out on you and not show up for planned
meetings. Solution: A new skill. You need to learn the
skill of getting women to meet you after making plans.
There are many parts to being successful with
women, and they all work together. You may already
know some of them, you might learn a few more from
this book, but if you’re missing a key (like how and when
to kiss a woman, for instance) you’ll still keep running
into challenges.
Remember, if you’re having a challenge, you need a
skill. So remind yourself of this idea, come back to this
book to get the information, and then practice until you
have the SKILL!
I began by creating self-image exercises based on
NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and Timeline
Therapy, and doing them all the time. (Read Frogs Into
Princes by Richard Bandler and John Grinder and The
Secret of Creating Your Future by Tad James for more
Here’s one exercise that’s helped me tremendously:
First, I close my eyes and imagine a picture of the
person that I want to become. I imagine how I’ll be
dressed, the expression on my face, how I’m standing...
all the details. Then, I throw that picture up into the air
and have it start raining copies of it all around me for as
far as I can see... into my past and future... all around
me. Exercises like these sometimes sound silly, but they
help direct your mind towards the person that you want
to become.
One area that I’ve studies extensively is what’s
commonly called ‘internal dialogue’ or ‘self-talk’. This is
simply the way that you talk to yourself inside your head.
Most people are talking to themselves all day long. But
most people are talking NEGATIVELY to themselves
instead of talking POSITIVELY. Negative self-talk is, in my
opinion, one of the primary causes of low self-esteem,
giving up, and a lack of interest in even trying.
If you tell yourself something enough times, you’ll
begin to BELIEVE it. This new belief will take on a mind of
its own and start creating its own self-talk.
Most people who have negative beliefs also have
negative self-talk that creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. If
this is you, STOP RIGHT NOW.
I may be the first person that’s ever pointed this out
to you, so it might sound a little strange. Or, I might be
reminding you of something you already know. In any
event, make a commitment to yourself to start talking
positively to yourself and to be encouraging from now on.
Put it on your calendar. Send yourself e-mails. Do
whatever you have to do so you remember to be nice to
yourself when you talk to yourself.
If you’re one of those people that likes being
negative, arguing with everything, finding why things can
never work for you, and why everyone is wrong, then do
me and yourself a favor and delete this book from your
hard drive and e-mail me to ask for a refund. You’ve
made a choice to be negative with yourself, and I’m not
even interested in helping you see a better way. People
who have made the choice to be negative about
everything are usually playing out a drama that’s beyond
what I’m interested in addressing and probably beyond
the power of this book to change.
If, on the other hand, you are one of the people who
is willing to give new things a try and agree to begin
saying things like, “I can do something if I choose to” and
“I can change if I really want to”, then I think you will be
The key here is to begin taking a positive mindset and
talking to yourself in a positive way.
Here’s an exercise for you to do: Take out a piece of
paper and write down all the negative thoughts you have
about yourself, all the negative things you say to
yourself, and all the areas where a ‘positive’ outlook
would help you. Then, start writing down positive things
you can say to yourself instead and begin saying them.
Keep working on this exercise until you stop saying
negative things to yourself. This could take you years like
it did for me. But it’s worth it, so trust me. This one
process will improve all areas of your life, so use it
It’s also important to make mental pictures and
rehearse the success that you’d like to have. As you’re
going to sleep, create mental movies of yourself being
successful in different kinds of situations and with
different types of women. Mental rehearsal is the next
best thing to actually doing something, so do it as often
as you can.
If you make a mental movie of the ideal you doing
the things that I’m going to teach you and review in your
mind every day, you will see improvement and results. If
you don’t do this part, you’ll be wondering why you can’t
seem to get it right when the opportunity comes along.

No comments: