Thursday, December 14, 2006

My Story

I made the decision a few years ago that I needed to
get the area of my life ‘handled’ called ‘dealing with
women’. So I made a decision and a commitment to
myself and my best friend that I would do whatever it
took to learn and ‘figure this out’. (Read Chapter 1 from
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill for more on this
Some background: The girlfriends that I had in the
past were mostly from luck now that I reflect on it. They
were there, and I felt lucky to have them as my girlfriend
at the time.
But I never knew how to approach women I didn’t
know, and I could sit in a bar for three hours making eye
contact with a woman and never have the nerve to go
talk to her. Right now I’m just turning 30, and I’m about
5’10” and 160 pounds. I think I’m reasonably good
looking, but I’ve never been the kind of guy that women
just walk up and approach. (I say this to give you a frame
of reference in relationship to the comments I make
relating to looks, etc.) I’ve made myself more attractive
by paying attention, learning, and using what works.
When I made the decision to get this part of my life
handled, I decided that instead of trying to start with an
angle (working at a strip club, becoming famous for
something, etc.) that I would like to learn in a way that
gave me power to act with just my personality and
presentation. In other words, I wanted to make this part
of who I was rather than a ‘trick’.
I have a rule of thumb in life that I use… it takes
about 2-4 years just to get ‘good’ at something. And I
mean JUST TO GET GOOD. Think martial arts, playing an
instrument… anything. (Read Chapter 1 of Mastery by
Leonard for more wisdom on this topic.)
Sure, you can have some success and fun while
learning, but experience has shown me that to really ‘get’
something and to be able to use it in many contexts
successfully, you need to apply yourself for 2-4 years.
THEN, I think it takes another 2-4 years to become a
‘master’ of whatever you’re doing.
At the 10+ year level is usually where the Genius
level really kicks in…
My point here is to say that I’ve been applying myself
for a few years now, and I am now at the point where I
feel confident and in control around women. I encourage
you to make this a long-term commitment rather than
just trying to get an instant cure. It will be worth it in the
long run.
If you’re just plain lazy and want a shortcut, go ahead
and try all of them. But you’ll most likely find, like most
others do, that massive success with this material takes
practice, effort, and a commitment.

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