Thursday, December 14, 2006

The Attitude

When I first started out learning how to meet women,
I remember that I had a feeling inside like, “I’m afraid to
just walk up to a strange woman and start talking.”
I thought of all kinds of things that could go wrong.
“What if she has a boyfriend nearby who easily gets
jealous and wants to beat me up?”
“What if she says something that puts me down and
makes me feel bad?”
“What if she says something to someone else about
me being a loser because I tried to talk to her?”
All of these different ideas combined inside of me to
give me a general fear of meeting women.
I’ve since learned that none of my worst fears would
come true when meeting a new woman. I’ve met
hundreds and hundreds of women over the last few years
– and none (NONE!) have reacted or caused anything to
happen that I couldn’t handle in the moment.
In the process I realized something very important:
No tactic works on every woman. Some women are not
interested in meeting someone right now.
Some women are lesbians and have no interest in
Some women are happily married or in a relationship
and don’t want to meet someone new right now.
Some women are angry.
Some are cold.
My guess is that in a random group of 100 women,
only about 30 of them might be open to meeting
someone new right now (in a romantic sense).
What this means is that 70 AREN’T interested in
meeting someone new.
And of the 30 who are interested in meeting someone
new, maybe only 15 are nice, friendly, happy people. Do
you see where I’m going?
If you want to be successful at meeting women, you
have to understand that many of the women you talk to
aren’t interested. Most people take things like this
PERSONALLY. Instead of just moving on to the next
woman, they get all uptight and feel bad about it. I’ve
now learned a better way.
I also learned something else that helped me
I learned that women are used to being approached,
flirted with, and picked up on in general by men. Even
women who are what you might call ‘average’ are
approached by men on a pretty regular basis. So when
you’re about to approach a woman, keep in mind that it’s
not like you’re going to try something that she’s never
heard of before and shock her. You may not be totally
comfortable yet just walking up to any woman, but she’ll
be relatively OK with it.
And remember, if she’s not interested, it’s most likely
that she’s not interested in anyone right now. Of course
it’s true that she might not be interested in your ‘type’ or
you may have acted in a way that she didn’t like, but the
fact is that no matter what happens, you’ll find that it’s
no big deal. Just move on.
When I first started my journey, I realized that some
of the greatest memories that my friends and I have are
when something bad happened to one of us. Looking
back, we usually laugh about these things and make fun
of each other and ourselves.
So I thought about it, and I realized that getting
rejected really harshly by a woman would actually be a
funny thing. I imagined my best friend and I saying,
“Hey, remember that time when I walked up to that girl
in the mall and said “Hi”, but she told me that she doesn’t
date men who look like Pee Wee Herman? Ha ha ha ha...”
Think of it this way: If you get shut down really hard,
just tell a couple of friends. They may not let you live it
down, but at least you can laugh about it! (And if you
have friends that won’t help you laugh about it, then you
need some new ones.)
Another part of the attitude equation that I realized is
that different women respond to different looks,
personalities, etc. One woman might only like men who
dress in suits and ties, while another might only like
women who dress like bad boy rockers. Whatever style
The price of big success is having some people dislike
you. So once you find a style that works for you, stick
with it, and only change it because YOU choose to do so!

No comments: