How To Answer Any Question That You Don’t Want To Answer

Women have a way with questions.
They seem to always ask questions that men don’t
want to answer.
Questions like:
“Are you seeing anyone else right now?”
“How do you feel about marriage?”
“Do you want kids?”
“How do you feel about me?”
“Do I look fat in these pants?”
Know what I’m talking about?
Well, it took me awhile, but I finally figured out how
to deal with tough questions: Evasive Action.
Here’s how it works. If she asks you a tough question,
don’t miss a beat – respond with the answer she wants to
hear. Then throw in a slapstick comedy line.
For instance:
Say she asks: “Are you seeing other women?”
You answer: “No... other men.”
Get it?
Here’s another one:
She asks: “Do you love me?”
You answer: “Of course... as a friend.”
And another:
She asks: “Where were you last night? I called.”
You answer: “I was home thinking about you... but
since you didn’t call early enough, I went out and hired
ten strippers.”

At first, I figured that this tactic wouldn’t work. But
then I tried using it a few times, and behold, it worked in
almost every situation.
And if she pushes and asks again: “Cummon,
seriously...”
You say: “No, seriously. I was home thinking about
you... OK, OK, you got me. I really went out with ten
other women. Are you happy? What, are you feeling
insecure?”
If you keep it up, they’ll give up.
Make sure you don’t act busted or nervous and it will
work for you, too. Remember, women can take hints very
well, and if they think that there’s an answer that they
don’t want to hear, they’ll give up and stop asking.

On Persistence:

A common theme I hear:
“NO
No
No
No
No
NO
NOOO
Noooo
Make love to me right now!”
Persistence is key. Never give up… if a woman says,
“We’re not going to have sex tonight”, I immediately
think to myself, “Ohhh, she just let me know that she’s
feeling some temptation and wants to get the
responsibility off herself… this is going to be fun and
easy.”
Trust me on this one.
Their words are usually hollow and meaningless…
watch their BEHAVIOR…
***Now, DON’T take this to mean that if a woman
says, “STOP” when you’re touching her that she wants
you to rape her… this kind of dumb-ass thinking will
result in jail time and your getting a large new boyfriend
named Otis.***
Just realize that a “No” said with longing in her eyes
or passion in her kiss usually means, “Get me more
turned on by kissing my neck, caressing me, smelling me,
and saying romantic and sexy things.”
I’ve realized that women shift gears all the time and
next time you talk to her she might be in a completely
different mood, etc. so if you really want her, don’t give
up the first time something weird happens.

Fear

If you need to get ‘fear’ handled, read the book, Feel
The Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. This is an
AWESOME book on getting fear handled.

Voice Tone

Voice tone is VERY important.
If you want to be more successful with women, work
on developing a deep, resonant, musical, articulate voice
tone.
And I don’t care if you have the whiniest, highest
pitched voice anyone’s ever heard.
You can improve it if you try.
First of all, practice talking slower and deeper.
You should be able to feel your voice resonating in
your chest when you talk.
Keep practicing until you can.
I highly recommend that you go out and buy the
audio series “The Sound Of Your Voice” by Carol
Flemming.
Also, get on eBay or Amazon.com and look for some
voice training tapes.
They’re well worth the investment and practice.
Women find a sexy voice irresistible. This is a big one, so
get to work on it.

On Testing

The way I see it, women are constantly testing men.
They do it by acting bratty, making demands,
complaining, commanding, being emotional, etc.
Know what I’m talking about?
Here’s what I do:
When a woman tries to test me – for instance, if she
says, “I don’t like that heavy metal that you were
listening to” – I turn it up a notch and send it back to her
– I might also say, “Well, then you might want to not get
in my car anymore, because it’s all I’m going to play now
that you’re whining about it.” (Said in a half serious tone
so she can’t tell if I’m kidding)
This sends the message that if she tries to act
controlling, I’m just going to turn whatever she’s being a
pain about up one notch and give it to her again. Women
get the message loud and clear when you act this way.
It may be hard to believe, but I’ve heard MANY
women say things like, “I HATE IT when a man does what
I tell him to do”, or “I just walk all over him, and it’s so
annoying to me.”
Some women actually have standard tests that they
give to new guys to see if the guy will do what they tell
him to do. I’ve now learned NEVER to accept demanding
or controlling behavior. I usually just laugh and say,
“Cute.” By laughing and saying, “Cute”, I short-circuit
their testing mechanism and let them know that I’m
going to be more of a challenge than they thought.

On Predictability

Don’t be predictable. Do the unexpected when they
LEAST expect it.
But don’t overdo it by acting extreme too often. If you
do the unexpected too much, it will come off as unstable,
etc.
People in general, including women, are attracted to
the novel... the unusual... the different.
Predictability is the enemy of interesting.
If you always act predictable, then by DEFINITION
you’re not interesting.
So keep doing things that are interesting and
unexpected.
If she wants a kiss, say, “No.” But kiss her later when
YOU feel like it. If she sits on your lap, push her off. But
give her a hug later when YOU feel like it.
The Dark Side: Don’t do things that are too far out in
order to be unpredictable. I said be unpredictable, not
UNSTABLE. Don’t get too wild, or you’ll come across as
being loopy.
Another facet of this mindset: Don’t be too friendly
too early.
This includes touching and smiling. If you do either
too much, you’ll mess it up for yourself.
If you act too interested too early, you’ll come across
as needy. By leaning back and keeping a calm, indifferent
attitude you’ll be more interesting.
I like to take this idea to its extreme by teasing and
making a woman beg me for things that she wants and
commit to things during times when it’s unfair (in a fun
way, of course).
For instance, if she wants a kiss, tell her that you’ll
only give her one if she rubs your back, etc.
Use your imagination here. The idea is to do things
that are unexpected and different.
To summarize, if you become too predictable, you will
become uninteresting to a woman. We humans are
naturally drawn to things that we cannot completely
figure out. So keep some things a mystery. Do some
things that don’t make sense. Don’t be predictable.

More Nuggets of Gold

Always end conversations, meetings, and phone calls
first.
I got this idea from the book The Rules by Ellen Fein
and Sherrie Schneider...You remember that book that
was written about how to get a man to marry you? Well,
it’s a great book. But I don’t think the authors would like
the reasons why I think it’s great. I take all of ‘the rules’
and turn them around. When you play the games that
women often play, you will not believe the responses
you’ll get.
Now, I used to be against any kind of ‘game playing’.
I still don’t like lies, cheating, general dishonesty, or
manipulation. BUT, when you use these things in the right
way, it becomes kind of a ‘game’ that women LOVE to
play. It’s strange, but women love to tease and be
teased. And if you don’t take this stuff too seriously, you
can have some real fun.
But, I digress... The reason to end conversations,
calls, and meetings first is that it does two things: First, it
says, “I’m not a needy guy, and I have things to do. I’m
busy and if you want me, you’re going to have to work to
get me.”
Second, it sets up a situation where YOU are in
control of the situation. If you start doing this with EVERY
call, EVERY meeting, and EVERY conversation, you will be
blown away by the responses you’ll get.
You’ll have women say, “What? But we’re having so
much fun...!”, “Well, when can I see you again?”, or
“Don’t you like me?”
By the way, don’t take the bait when they say these
things! Say, “Of course I like you, and of course I’m
having fun – but I’m busy and I have things to do. So call
me tomorrow and maybe I can get together with you at
the end of the week.”
I LOVE THIS!!! Love it! Love it! Love it!
And women love it too. As much as you might think
it’s cruel and unusual punishment, women love nothing
more than to go home wondering, “Does he love me?
Does he like me? Will he call me? Did he have fun?”

I know, I know... sounds too bizarre to be true, but
trust me. Tease and do these things, and you’ll find that
they’ll work like a charm... plus have the added bonus of
being damn fun!
***I have to insert here that I’ve given this advice to
many needy man who have rejected it whole heartedly.
They continue to act needy and not let women go at the
end of the night, when talking on the phone, etc. By not
making themselves scarce and unusual, they make
themselves valueless. Don’t make the same mistake
yourself.
Another one that I use often is ‘Don’t say caring and
affectionate things directly – but say them indirectly’.
Women have a love for metaphors, demonstrations,
stories, gifts, etc.
For instance, saying, “You’re beautiful” 12 times a day
isn’t attractive, but writing a poem that says it and
leaving it somewhere as a surprise is very attractive.
Also, if I’m appreciating something about a woman, I
point to a specific part or thing or detail. Women love it
when you NOTICE things.
This reminds me of a very important point: Women
LOVE it when you THINK about them. If you say, “I was
thinking about you, so I wrote you” the woman will have
something inside go ‘click’! I believe that women like gifts
not because they have value, but because they say, “I
was thinking about you, I have these feelings for you, and
this gift is a symbol for them.”
Does this make sense to you?
I didn’t think so. It didn’t to me, either. But IT’S
TRUE. So start telling women that you were thinking
about them, that you were remembering times with
them, and that something reminded you of them. If you

do this, you don’t have to buy gifts anymore! They know
you’re thinking about them! Nice.
Here’s something else that I’ve figured out that
doesn’t make any sense at all: Women love ‘Mismatched
Communication’. What I mean by this is that women like
it when you’re doing one thing serious and one thing
jokingly, or being verbally tough, but physically
affectionate.
Let me give you a couple of examples.
If you’re talking to a woman and telling her that you
think she’s beautiful, keep a very SERIOUS look on your
face. This adds all kinds of drama to the situation and
gives the woman something to imagine all kinds of deep
meanings. (By the way, most men smile too much. Smile
less when talking to women. It will keep them wondering
what you’re thinking and it will help you.)
Or while kissing a woman, reach down and bite her on
the neck, just a tiny bit too hard (no blood please).
One thing tender, one thing slightly violent.
Or maybe you’ve just finished holding her hand and
kissing her. When she stands up, give her a spank on the
ass and tell her it was because she’s such a good kisser.
The idea here is that what you’re feeling is causing
you to do something IRRATIONAL. You’ve being swept
away by the moment. Or you’re experiencing conflicting
feelings. This leaves it to her to figure out what you’re
‘REALLY’ feeling, which women love to do.
It also makes you the most interesting, unpredictable
guy she’s ever met.
You know, another thing that I’ve noticed is that
women LOVE to talk about sex. Most men are not

comfortable bringing up the subject with women they
don’t know. But try telling a couple of dirty jokes, or
talking about a sex program you saw on T.V. Most women
will jump right in and start giving their take on the topic.
It’s amazing. Try it.

Let’s Be Friends

Have you ever noticed how women will say, “I like
him, but only as a FRIEND.”
Don’t you hate that?
I thought about that one for a long time, and a friend
of mine and I have figured out how to turn this one
around. Now I always make reference to ‘making friends’
and ‘let’s get together and make friends’ and ‘if nothing
else, we can be friends’ in the first conversation and when
setting up the first coffee date.
Then when on the date, I talk about why I like to
make ‘friends’ first to get to know the other person. “I
think that you’re going to make a nice friend.”
Then, after the friendship frame is established, I flirt
like hell and make sexual innuendoes and jokes. This
immediately sets up the idea that I’m very in control of
myself and that I’m going to JUDGE whether l want to be
more than friends based on something more than JUST
HER LOOKS.
This is something that a woman has most likely
NEVER encountered (as you know, this is a favorite of
mine).
By the way, if you talk about being friends first, it
makes you remember to look past the looks and find out
what kind of person you’re dealing with (If I had a dollar
for every guy I know, including myself, that screwed his
life up by getting too involved with a woman because she
was attractive on the outside, but turned out to be a
horrible person...)
You can keep up this ‘let’s be friends’ fun forever.
Even after you start dating, still talk about it. It’s easy to
have fun with it. You’ll see.

How To Be Funny, The One Page Course

Here’s a little mini-course on how to be funny:
First, go read Comedy Writing Secrets by Melvin
Helitzer. And while you’re at it, watch some good stand
up comedy routines like Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, and
Robin Williams. Listen to how they use word play, double
meanings, exaggeration, and misinterpretation to create
humor.
It’s time to get yourself a set of standard things that
you can say in some of the most common situations.
Here’s a list that I use personally and examples of
instances when you can use them:
1. Whenever someone has an emotional response to
something, say, “How do you REALLY feel about
it?” For instance, if a woman says
,
“I just HATE it
when people smoke around me!” say, “How do you
REALLY feel about it?” The sarcasm is that they’ve
shown that they have VERY strong feelings, so the
“How do you REALLY feel” creates a joke on them
that they’re overly emotional.
2. Say, “Anyway” and look away quickly after making
a wisecrack. For instance, if someone says, “That
girl over there is ugly” say, “Oh, I thought she was
you – anyway” (look away quickly). The looking
away and quick “Anyway” (trying to get off the
topic) creates a funny moment.
3. Misinterpret what women say. Always listen for
opportunities to misinterpret words. If you say,
“Let’s go over to the bar to have a drink” and the
woman says, “Let’s do it”, turn to her and say,
“Let’s do it? You mean right here? I think the line
for a bathroom stall is too long, and I’d rather
have a drink.”
4. Look for sexual innuendo in everything and use it
to accuse her of trying to seduce you before you
even know her. If she says, “Well, I’m getting
tired, and I think it’s time for bed”, say, “Bed? I
mean, I don’t even know if you know how to
kiss... and you’re trying to get me into bed? What
happened to the old days when you could be
friends first?”
5. Exaggerate. If an overweight woman walks by,
say, “What would you guess? 900 pounds?” Or if a
woman complains about a part of her body or her
clothing (I love these opportunities), exaggerate
it. For instance, if she says, “My hair looks like hell
today”, you say, “I didn’t want to say anything.”
Ohhhh this is funny stuff. You’ll usually get a hit
on the arm (in which case you can spank her on
the ass). Then you can go on all night making fun
of her hair, talking about how everyone is looking
at it, how you’re embarrassed to be seen with her
because of it, etc.

6. Connect things around you to current affairs in a
funny way. If a woman with a huge butt walks by,
say, “Hey, Jennifer Lopez is in the house.” If a
woman starts talking about how she just bought
herself a new car, say, “I like the effect that the
Independent Woman song is having on you.”
(These are, of course, currently funny. Next year,
it will be a different set of things.)
7. Don’t smile too much and don’t laugh at your own
jokes very often. When you smile or laugh, it
releases the tension. If you can keep a straight
face, the joke stays funnier longer.
OK, there’s a list of basic things that I’ve learned
regarding humor. I’d recommend that you start studying
humor, read books about it, go to comedy clubs, and
learn more advanced skills.
Also, start reading Maxim and Stuff magazines. Read
how they always use reversal humor. This is some good
funny stuff.

Humor

Here’s how I mentally approach meeting a new
woman: I’m cocky and funny, I steal their lines, I tease
them, and I don’t ever give them a break.
In my opinion, your most valuable asset, no matter
your looks, height, age, or income – is humor.
I don’t care if you’re four feet tall and have one eye.
If you can make women laugh consistently and get those
good feelings flowing through them, they’ll love you.
I decided last year to start actually STUDYING
comedy, as I’ve found that people (women) respond to it
better than any other thing in the whole entire universe.
So I did a bunch of research on the Internet to find the
best books, and I bought about 5 or 6 of them.
One book that I read called Comedy Writing Secrets
by Melvin Helitzer made a great point. He said that the
majority of humor revolves around the CHARACTER and
not the jokes.
Most of the guys that I meet who want to learn to
meet women are working on the ‘jokes’ in their life and
not the ‘character’. I did it for about two years myself. I
tried to learn all kinds of lines and B.S.
It finally dawned on me that women were not really
that concerned with all of that… they wanted a particular
CHARACTER. The lines didn’t matter as long as they fit in
with the character. Now that I have created this
CHARACTER for myself, things are all different. Women
now call me. They pursue me. They want to be around
me. It’s strange, magical, and weird.
So what’s the character that they want? Good
question.
I have a good friend who’s the best I’ve ever seen at
picking up women in bars and having sex with them that
night. Now, I do better getting numbers and following up.
But this guy is just a machine. And his whole mindset
towards meeting women is to be “cocky and funny” (his
words). My opinion is that women are turned off by
arrogant men… UNLESS… they’re DAMN FUNNY. This
magic combination will attract women like Bill Clinton
attracts chubby interns. I’m following in my buddy’s
footsteps.
I’ll try to summarize the character that I’ve
developed:
“I know that this girl is secretly trying to pick me up…
I’m going to play hard to get, make fun of her, be
indifferent towards her, and generally bust her balls as
much as possible. I know that she loves a guy that is so
sarcastic that it makes her nervous, so I’m going to really
keep the heat on… and when she starts to show any
interest at all on the outside, I’m going to blow her off
and make her prove to me that she wants me… so I can
reject her again.”
I do crazy things, like if I’m standing next to a girl at
a bar, I’ll turn to her and say in a completely serious
voice, “Will you PLEASE stop touching me?” And then look
them right in the eye.
Or say, “What are you doing at a bar for godsakes?
Can’t you find a nice normal guy? Or are you desperate?”
All with a completely straight face.
I say things that make them actually think that I’m
serious, but leave a shadow of a doubt.
Here’s what I’m looking for: If they respond in an
insecure way and say, “Oh, I’m sorry… I didn’t know that
I was touching you”, I’ll keep it going… and say, “Well,
you did. And if you’re going to keep doing it, I’d
appreciate it if you’d touch a little higher.” They crack up.
If they shoot something funny back like, “Well, touchy
touchy” and they know that I’m kidding, I just stay in
character and say, “Yes, I don’t like being touched. So
keep a foot or so between us please” and keep it going.
And yes, sometimes (not often) I’ll meet a cold one
and she’ll get uptight – I just walk away.
If you’re going to do this, you have to remember to
keep it going for the entire time… don’t turn into a dumb
ass at the first sign of her liking you. Keep up the
character, play hard to get, etc. forever!

How To Tease (How To Speak Woman)

When I first met one particular girl, I took her hand
when she got into the car and held it for a few seconds...
then took it away saying, “No hand holding this early”, as
if it were her idea... then at lunch, I put out my hand for
her to take it and then when she went to take it, I moved
it before she touched me... then did it again... and again
saying, “No, really...”
Finally, after the meal was finished, I reached out for
her hand, and she wouldn’t take mine because I had
teased her so much. So I actually grabbed her hand and
held it and massaged it. This was teasing and
teasing...and when she finally gave up, I gave it to her.
Then, when I gave her a hug later on, she kissed me
on the cheek or neck a couple of times, and I accused her
of kissing me a lot, etc. (The idea is that she’s into me
and she’s the aggressor.) One part of this is me doing
something (holding her hand) and then accusing her of
doing it (“no hand holding this early”).
This kind of behavior, sending mixed messages, and
flirting doesn’t really make sense to most men, but to
women it’s magic.
Also, some women really get intrigued if you ‘figure
them out’ early on in the game and have their number...
and then just ‘laugh at how cute they are’ when they do
things. This gets them all freaked out, as they feel like
you’re in control, and they don’t know what to do next...
like you know all the games they’re playing and won’t fall
for any of their old tricks... this makes them nervous as
they don’t have any POWER OR AMMO!
They love this, as men are hardly ever in control. And
they secretly want someone who is. (It’s VERY important
not to become the ‘friend/therapist’ with this
information... and start kissing their ass! The idea is to
use it to bust on them and not to be understanding.)
I also tell women early on that I think they’ll make a
nice ‘friend’.
It’s funny to see how the friendship frame works with
them, because this gets them thinking often for the first
time, “Wow, maybe I just found a man who is smarter
than me, knows my little games, and has higher
standards than ME for once... and now he’s talking about
being ‘just friends’! Oh no! Doesn’t he like me? Doesn’t he
want me like all the other guys?” A key here is to always
keep them guessing... never get too into them or they’ll
get right into their old games, etc.
Another interesting observation that I’ve made is that
women only understand CODE, not direct language.
Little boys tease little girls when they’re 8, and
women still love it when they’re 28 and 48. I like to find
something about them that they’re just a little insecure
about and make fun of it in a way makes them wonder
whether or not I’m serious.
The way I see it, women are like the Enigma
machines that German U-boats used in World War II.
These machines were able to transmit messages to each
other, but also able to change the codes they used each
time. Women are much more interested in giving and
getting subtle hints.
Telling a woman, “I really like you”, won’t be as
effective as saying, “You really like me” in a teasing way.
Do you understand?
I speak in metaphor and story, talk about feelings and
longings, speak code, and try to never speak directly.
Let me give you a few more examples:
If you want to have sex with a woman, you could say,
“Hey, why don’t we have sex?” Go ahead and try that one
sometime and let me know how it works for you.
Or, you could try this... Next time you’re alone with a
new woman, stand up, take her hand, and pull her up to
her feet. Then give her a hug, let go, and sit back down.
After she sits again, say, “I just wanted to hug you.”
Later hug her again and cuddle with her. While cuddling,
smell her neck and tell her how good she smells... and
don’t stop. Within a few minutes she’ll be telling you how
hot she’s getting.
Two different paths to the same outcome… It’s just
that one happens to work about a hundred times better
than the other.
Men like to go out hoping to ‘get laid’. Women like the
idea of being swept away by the moment… especially
when it’s a taboo thing and they shouldn’t be doing it,
etc. The more unplanned things seem, the better. For
instance, if she happens to wind up in your bedroom and
you happen to be massaging her, smelling her, etc. it’s
seen as ‘meant to be’ or something that happened in an
unplanned romantic way, and therefore a good thing to
get swept away by.
If you want to increase your chances of success with
women, create scenarios that lead to these situations.
Ask yourself, “What situation would facilitate the outcome
that I’m looking for naturally?” Remember that women
like to be swept away by the moment; they don’t like to
think that they’re being used.
Another fun thing I do to demonstrate to women that
I’m savvy and know the language is to interpret gestures
and expressions and then comment back as if they had
said something.
So for instance, if a woman looks at someone walking
by, then wrinkles up her nose and gets that ‘Gross’ look
on her face, I might respond with, “That’s what I was
thinking.”
Get it? I’m pretending like she actually said, “Gross”
to me.
Or if a woman takes my hand, I might say, “Oh,
really?”
I’m pretending like she said, “I’m attracted to you.”
Women are very expressive with their body language
and facial expressions, but they often express themselves
in very subtle ways.
If you can tune into these little cues and then respond
with fun remarks that show you’re clued in, you’ll be
rewarded. (Notice: Do not start ACTING like a woman
now that you know this tip. This technique is to be used
sparingly and only to let a woman ‘know that you know’
and not as your main approach when interacting with
women. Many men make the mistake of learning how
women act and then IMITATING them all the time. This is
not what you want to do, trust me.)

On Being A Man

There is a lot controversy around the differences
between men and women. My perspective is that men
and women are different in many ways and that they
usually respond differently to various types of
communication.
And as politically incorrect as this might sound, I
believe that most women respond very strongly to
‘masculine’ men. The more confident, arrogant, and
dominant I’ve acted, the more women have responded to
me emotionally and sexually. (I’m not talking about
hitting a woman over the head and dragging her to your
cave, Bubba.)
And now that I’ve thought about it a lot and
interviewed dozens of women about this topic, I’ve
realized that weak men are generally not attractive to
women. Women may demand things, whine, and act like
a pain, but it’s usually all a test of one sort or another.
If you’re weak, shy, or submissive, get over it. Start
walking a little taller, acting a little more self-centered,
and taking what you want.
Now, I have to be careful here. I want to make sure
you don’t start acting like an ‘asshole’ to women. The
masculine man says, “No” to a woman calmly. The
Asshole says, “No” to a woman in an angry tone. Get it?

More On My Way Of Looking At Things

I don’t ask women for permission to do things, and I
don’t look to them to lead what’s going to happen next. I
used to kind of watch what they were doing and take cues
on how to act. Now I do and say what I want and look for
cues from her so I know when to bust her balls.
I spent a long time learning how to get phone
numbers from women only to realize that this wasn’t the
same as success. Then, I learned how to get women to
come over to my house only to realize that this wasn’t the
same as success. I finally realized that I have to lead the
way the entire time – just like in ballroom dancing. I have
to know where we’re going and lead the way the entire
time.
But my most important realization is that THIS IS MY
REALITY, AND SHE IS A GUEST – not the other way
around. If a woman tries to play a game with me, put me
off, give me an excuse, etc. I start laughing out loud at
her. At first, she doesn’t know what’s going on... but then
I say something like, “Cummon... what, are you kidding?
Give me a break.”
This tells them that even their little ploys aren’t going
to get by my radar – never mind into my reality. I never
get upset at them or let them get to me emotionally (this
is key, because if they sense that they’ve found a button,
they’ll use it over and over again). As my friend Eric once
said, “YOU’RE IN MY REALITY NOW.”
Let me point out that when I’m meeting women, I’m
almost NEVER thinking about a ‘long-term relationship’
with them in the beginning. If I like them and later they
prove to be someone that really amazes me, then this will
be a possibility.
My guess is that strong, exceptional, interesting men
who are in control of themselves and their realities are as
rare for women as super hot women are rare for men.
See where I’m going? Said in a different way, “Why do so
many men settle for average or worse looking women?”
I think the logic goes both ways. I mean, I know quite
a few ass-kicking men – but this is because I’ve literally
spent years finding and making friends with them. Most
women aren’t lucky enough to run across one. And when
they do, they usually mess it up by being a bitch or
uninteresting. So they just settle for whatever the best
option is at the moment. And they often wind up getting
comfortable in the process.
There’s another interesting point that I’ve noticed
lately:
Many of the marriages that I know of that have lasted
for many years (10+) have something in common: a
woman that subtly controls the man. I mean, think about
the plot of most romance novels: Woman meets wild
man, woman tames man and lives happily ever after with
her new well-behaved BOY.
So keep this in mind when you’re interacting with
women.
***Because I may be coming off a bit harshly here, I
want to mention something. If you could be in the room
with me during my interactions with a new woman that I
find interesting, you’d most likely be thinking, “This guy is
funny as hell... but he’s really pushing it. I mean, he’s on
the borderline of saying something that’s just too damn
arrogant. But wow, the woman just seems to get more
and more into him as this goes on... interesting.” You
would NOT be thinking, “Wow, this guy seems to me like
a womanizer who’s mean to women.”
I say this so that you understand that all of the
techniques that I employ are part of the all-important
‘Character’ that I discussed earlier.
By staying cocky and funny, women will laugh their
asses off, get frustrated that you’re not playing to them,
and finally crack and show that they like you.
If you’re just a plain old run of the mill jerk, then
none of this will work. The ‘assholes’ who get laid usually
have an angle (money, fame, whatever) that they mix
with the assholeness.
Mean, self-centered people with no social
attractiveness are usually out of luck.
So keep in mind the all-important ingredient: Humor.
NOTHING works for me like humor mixed with
arrogance.
I also want to mention once again that I’m very
flexible and in many situations, I will begin to do very
sweet and thoughtful things for a woman – just on my
terms.
And when it comes to sex (***big key here***) I
always pay attention and learn what a woman likes. My
goal is to be the most fulfilling lover that she’s had. Mix
all this up with some special sauce, and you have the
recipe for hot women who love to have sex with you and
love you as a person as well because you’re interesting to
them.
Remember, women are not linear, logical creatures. If
you do things that make sense, they will do things that
don’t make any sense at all.
If you do things that don’t make any sense at all,
then women will often do what you want them to do.
It’s just that you have to know exactly WHICH things
to do that don’t make sense.
Make sense?

The Very Attractive Women Are Approached All The Time

I’m going to remind you of something that I talked
about earlier in this book: Most attractive women are
approached in one way or another all the time by men.
I was watching one of Chris Rock’s stand up routines
recently; Chris was telling the women in the audience
that anytime a man is being nice, it’s because he’s
offering sex (or ‘dick’ as he put it).
So if a guy says, “Wow, you look great!”, what he
really means is, “Wow, you really look great, would you
like some dick?”
And remember that ‘desirable’ women including rich
women, beautiful women, and famous women, are used
to being treated like queens. (It’s really no fault of theirs;
even very handsome men are notorious for acting
arrogant. It’s part of being human. We can all become
spoiled easily if the right combination of circumstances
arises. By the way, it’s good to keep a “You’re spoiled,
and I don’t really blame you for it... you were just lucky
to be born beautiful and have everyone kiss your ass”
attitude...)
Being spoiled, these women act bratty to get their
way. However, the ass kissing and always getting their
way also has another effect. Since they are so used to
being courted and having a man kiss their ass, when you
show up, act funny and charming, and don’t play into any
of their games (make fun of them, do the pretend ass-
kisser imitation, tell them that they want you, tease
them, don’t answer ANY of their questions about job, car,
home, social life, where you go, etc. and even label all of
those questions as, “Did you get a list of these questions
like all the other shallow women around here?” etc.) it
often has the effect of them thinking, “Wow, this is sure
DIFFERENT”, which gets their attention. The humor and
arrogance (arrogance based on self-knowing, not on
outer success) keeps their attention.
I think that it’s all about interrupting the current train
of thought with some type of DIFFERENT AND
INTERESTING behavior. You can use tricks, props, or
whatever, but you have to interrupt the woman and first
get her attention... then you can get to the good part of
doing the things that give her the FEELINGS that she
wants and playing the part of the MAN that her
unconscious wants.
Many experts talk of establishing rapport, acting like
them, etc. initially... I’ve found that breaking rapport
usually works better for me. (Rapport is the concept of
breathing, moving, and talking like another person so
they feel a connection with you.)
But it’s a special kind of breaking rapport that I
practice. I break rapport in a funny and charming way,
which actually ASSUMES rapport from the beginning. (I
insult women that I don’t know in a playful way all the
time. Her only real choices with which to respond
internally and externally are, “This guy is a jerk - I’m
outta here” or “You’ve got some balls - but you’re damn
funny - and for some reason, I feel like I know you...”)
When you point out a woman’s quirks or insecurities
in a way that makes her laugh, you do so many positive
things at once. She can’t deny that the things you’re
saying are true, BECAUSE SHE’S LAUGHING. And she
can’t really hate you too much, because it’s kind of fun.

How Women Test Men And Why

In my opinion, most women, especially the ‘hotties’,
have gone through a learning curve here in our western
culture that has on average given them a sort of
‘predictable psychological makeup’. Now, there are
differences between these women… some are smart,
some are not… some are tall, some are short… some are
cerebral, some are physical… etc. etc. etc… but there are
things that most of them have in common. I’ve made a
study of these things… because this is what interests me.
At some point in their lives, hotties began to be
treated differently because they were attractive. I
mentioned the social psychology concept earlier called
‘The Halo Effect’. Simply stated, attractive people are
assumed to be smarter, more honest, more trustworthy,
etc. than others. The fact that people do whatever the
hottie wants begins to blur their sense of reality and
makes them believe that they can have whatever they
want whenever they want it… AND THAT’S JUST THE WAY
LIFE IS. (This applies in general.)
You’ll notice that many super-hotties will throw
tantrums if they don’t like what’s going on or aren’t
getting their way… this is a sure sign that they are not
living in the same reality as most people… when they
don’t get what they want, they get upset because this has
worked since they were little…
Now, on a subconscious level, I’ve noticed that most
hot women realize that they are being ridiculous when
they act like bitches, throw tantrums, etc. but it doesn’t
really matter because it still WORKS for them when they
want what they want… are you with me?
Underneath all of this behavior, they are still FEMALE
and they are looking for what other females are also
looking for…
What are women looking for?
Well, for the record, I have no idea. After 30 years of
studying people, Freud said that there was one question
that he didn’t have the answer to… “What do women
want?” Nice.
BUT, here’s my take on it: First and foremost, they
want a man who is in CONTROL (of the situation, himself,
his emotions, other people, her… control of the entire
reality that they share).
Let me ask you, if you were a woman who wanted to
test a man to see if he will stay in control, how would you
do it? Would you ask the man, “If I get out of hand, will
you spank me and put me in my place?”
NO WAY!!!
So they test us by CHALLENGING us to see if we’ll
stay in control. The reason I do all of this “Never give a
woman a direct answer… unless it’s NO… Never give a
woman exactly what she wants…” etc. is, ironically, to
give her what she REALLY wants… a man who’s in control.
Women want a challenge. Think romance novel
themes… if you don’t know what I’m talking about, sit
yourself down for a week and read Dangerous Men and
Adventurous Women by Jayne Krentz… How to Succeed
With Women By Being A Jerk by F.J. Shark… Endless
Rapture by Helen Hazen… and Bad Boys by Margie
Palatini… and think about it.
Most of the time, I’m enjoying myself, talking about
whatever comes up, making jokes, and generally
behaving like a normal person.
But, like anything else, if these techniques are used
too much, they become worthless… so they must be used
with precision and at the right moments.
What’s interesting is that because I usually (but not
always) do these teasing and seemingly controlling things
with a bit of a dry humor spin, I believe that the woman
who I’m with has an internal response like, “Wow, this
guy is cocky, but I can’t tell if he’s serious or not… and I
want to find out… but either way, he’s funny and he’s
staying interested in me and not being flagrantly
abusive… so he must be interested at SOME level…”
The key is to WATCH FOR THE TESTS and be ready
when they come.
Most guys screw up when a woman acts bratty… or
when a woman gets upset, they say, “Oh, I’m sorry” and
mess it up. Or they act nervous, etc. You have to stay in
control… If a woman starts getting angry, instead of
getting nervous say, “Oh, poor baby is throwing a
tantrum… So what. You’ve been doing the same thing
since you were 2, and you didn’t get your way.”
SPANK!
Another realization I’ve had is that most women are
totally intrigued by men who seem uninterested and
crass… it’s almost like they say to themselves, “Wow, this
guy seems kind of cocky… and I can’t believe that he’s
not interested in having sex with me like all the other
dumb pussies that I meet… He’s funny and smart… I
wonder if I can get him interested in me… and when I do,
I’ll just dump him like the other losers… but this might be
fun…”
Get it?
But if you are going to act this way, you have to keep
it up until the end… and I mean to the end.
I’m going to address the ‘treating women well’ issue
again.
I treat women very well… they always tell me that
they’ve never met a man who treats them so well, etc.
How can this be when I seem like such a ball buster?
Well, it’s simple really… I do nice things for them ON
MY OWN TERMS. I will surprise them with a thoughtful e-
mail or a card… or I might give them a nice massage… I
open doors and walk on the outside of the curb… But part
of most women’s romantic fantasy (in my opinion) is the
man taking control of the situation and doing things on
HIS terms. Try it for yourself… next time you’re going to
meet a woman, tell her what to wear… choose the food
and tell her to trust you… if she asks for a kiss, say,
“No”… but kiss her later when YOU feel like it… if you
know that she likes chocolate, and she asks for some…
don’t give it to her… but surprise her with some next time
you see her… get it?
Here are a couple of rules of thumb that I use:
1. Never give a woman a direct answer… unless the
answer is NO. This is a big one. If she says, “Can we
sit here?” I say, “No, let’s sit in this one next to it.”…
or if she says, “How do you like my dress?” I say,
“Well, I think that I like it… just give me a few minutes
to see it on you.”… or if she says, “Call me tomorrow.”
I say, “No. You call me tomorrow… cummon, you want
me and you know it.” Get it?
2. If she complains about you or doesn’t like something,
turn it up a notch and do it more. If she says to me, “I
don’t really like it when you say that.”, I say, “Well
then you might want to leave, because I say it a lot.”
Get it?
3. Women are CONSTANTLY testing to see if they can get
you to comply with them. As soon as you do, they hit
the road (or marry you). This idea took me years to
see and understand, but the fact is that when you’re
dealing with a powerful, hot woman she will do all
different kinds of things that make no sense at all
logically... but all the sense in the world when you
understand her mindset.
Hot women can have anything they want. What they
want is a challenge… something that keeps their
interest. If a woman can have anything she wants
anytime she wants it, then WHY THE HELL DO GUYS
THINK THAT THEY’RE GOING TO BE INTERESTING BY
DOING THE SAME THING THAT EVERY OTHER GUY
HAS DONE? Duh.
4. Hey, I used to think this way… but then I got a clue.
Now, I pay very careful attention and never let her
have what she wants. If she says, “Kiss me.” I say,
“No.” If she says, “Come over to my house.” I say,
“I’m busy right now, I’ll come over later.” If she says,
“I want you so bad, please make love to me.” I say,
“Well, I think that you need to wait a little longer. And
besides, I’m not finished kissing you.” Get it? I NEVER
give a woman exactly what she asks for… EVER!
Always send mixed signals. Tell her I want to be
friends and kiss her. Tell her what she just did was
unacceptable and then go kiss her. Spank her if she
does something nice. Also, respond differently to the
same thing. For example, one time if she comes over
and sits on my lap, I kiss her. Another time I push her
off… get it? Never be predictable… NEVER.
For the record, when I say, “always” and “never”, I
don’t really mean “ALWAYS 100% WITHOUT EXCEPTION
EVER.” I mean that you should do these as much as you
possibly can, because you really can’t overdo any of them
as long as you stay cocky and funny while you’re doing
them.
The test is always, “Is she laughing, smiling, having
fun most of the time?” If so, you can’t overdo these four
rules.

How To Use Communication And Humor To Attract Women

Now that we’ve covered some of the ‘inner’ game, I’d
like to share with you some of the things that I’ve learned
about the ‘outer’ game. In later chapters, I’m going to
teach you the specifics of exactly what to say and what to
do in different situations, but here I’d like to teach you
some basics about communication that I think will really
help you get the right frame of mind.

Focus On Developing Personality Traits That Attract Women.

Now that you know what kinds of personality traits
attract women, focus on cultivating those traits in
yourself.
Get in touch with your adventurous side and make an
effort to develop your sense of humor. The more you
improve yourself, the more women will take notice of
you.

Go To The Type Of Places That Attract The Women You Want.

If you want to find the right woman for you, think
about what kind of places she would go.
If you like ‘party girls’, start frequenting bars and
nightclubs.
If you want to meet a classy, ‘business-like’ babe that
likes to have fun, check out the trendy happy-hour spots
in your town.
If you’re looking for the more ‘down to earth’ type, try
taking some yoga classes.
If you do a bit of thinking, you’ll have no problem
finding the type of girl that’s right for you.

Avoid “Relationship” Type Behavior.

If you start buying a woman gifts, kissing up to her,
and displaying “relationship” type behaviors, she will
naturally see you as “relationship material”.
Even if you WANT a long-term relationship, it’s
important that you stop doing anything that could be
regarded at “courtship” behavior early on.
Remember… a woman will get into a long-term
relationship with a man she’s sleeping with. But she won’t
be as likely to sleep with a man who is courting her.
Be attractive, interesting, and sexy. And let HER do
the ‘courting’.

Insecurity And Neediness Are Your Two Worst Enemies.

Nothing scares a woman off faster than a guy who
‘leans’… physically or emotionally.
Don’t ever say or do anything a woman might find
needy or insecure. Avoid being ‘clingy’, showing off,
arguing, and getting emotional and worked up over minor
things (like an unreturned phone call, for instance).
Most importantly, develop your life and build your
self-confidence to rid yourself of these deadly enemies for
good.

Insecurity And Neediness Are Your Two Worst Enemies.

Nothing scares a woman off faster than a guy who
‘leans’… physically or emotionally.
Don’t ever say or do anything a woman might find
needy or insecure. Avoid being ‘clingy’, showing off,
arguing, and getting emotional and worked up over minor
things (like an unreturned phone call, for instance).
Most importantly, develop your life and build your
self-confidence to rid yourself of these deadly enemies for
good.

Learn To ATTRACT Women Instead Of Pursuing

Most guys feel you have to ‘chase’ a woman in order
to make her yours.
The big problem here is that we humans are naturally
programmed to RUN from that which pursues us.
A much better idea is to learn the skill of ATTRACTING
women to you.
Not only will you save time, energy, and money in the
long-run… but it’s a lot more fun!

Personality Traits That Attract Women

In the next chapter, I’m going to describe MY
particular unique personality and the ‘character’ that I
become when I’m meeting women.
But before I do that, I’d like to talk about some of the
different personality traits that women find most
attractive. Some are better when used with others, and
some don’t work well together. Here is the list with brief
descriptions. I’ll talk more about combining these later.
• Funny. Humor is just plain powerful with women.
If you can keep her laughing, you will go far.
• Intelligent and Creative. Intelligence is sexy IF
it’s used in a way that’s interesting to her. Use your
creativity and intelligence to surprise her with
ideas, fantasies, and unexpected things that charm
her.
• Educated. Education is attractive to women as
long as it’s used in an interesting way. Some
women are actually intimidated by education,
which usually works in your favor.
• Classy and Cultured. If you have class, women
pick up on it. Do your shoes and belt match? Do
you understand interior design and color contrast?
Do you know about different types of wine? Do you
like foreign movies? Do you understand fashion?
Do you like Frank Sinatra? Do you enjoy exotic
foods? Do you serve her Hors d’oeuvres and a glass
of wine when she visits? Do you open all doors for
her? Women notice this stuff BIG TIME.
• Dominant. Women have an unconscious attraction
to dominant men. The dominant males in some
primate groups account for up to 75% of all the
matings, while the less dominant males go without
any. Same goes for humans.
• Thoughtful. Women don’t just like gifts; they like
knowing that you were THINKING of them. The gift
is a SYMBOL. Women feel the same amount of
good inside whether it’s a card or a diamond (of
course, the diamond lasts longer, so there are
more ‘times of feeling good’!). But the fact is that
women like to know that you’re thinking about
them. Even if you’re telling a woman that you don’t
like it that she was out with another guy, she’ll like
it because it means you were thinking about her!
• Notices Significant Details. Women don’t just
notice details; they USE them to try to be
attractive and attentive. If she is wearing a sexy
outfit, she didn’t put it on by accident. If her hair is
done nicely, it wasn’t a fluke. Women are very
impressed and attracted to men who notice these
details.
Unpredictable/Predictable. Here’s a paradox.
Women are drawn to men who they can’t control or
predict. They obsess over guys who flirt, give them
attention, and then don’t call the next day.
Predictability is only attractive when it comes to
choosing a HUSBAND. Then a woman usually wants
a man who’s VERY predictable.
• Enthusiastic, Fun, Happy. Nothing is a bigger
turn-off than a killjoy. Some men get upset and
pout when a woman is happy and try to put down
the things that she enjoys to sound superior, which
is usually a HUGE mistake. Enthusiasm is infectious
and attractive.
• Adventurous. Women are instantly attracted to
men who like to do extreme, adventurous, unusual,
and even dangerous things. It’s exciting.
Adventurism is sexy.
• Aggressive. Women love men that know what
they want and go after it. Passion is a sign of life.
I’m not talking about the kind of aggressive that
turns into date rape. I’m talking about the kind of
aggressive that turns into setting a goal and then
going after it with passion and getting it no matter
what.
• Confident/Cocky. Women are magnetically
attracted to men who are just a little bit too cocky.
Just a little bit. This is a tough one to explain. Many
men take this to mean ‘overly arrogant’, which is
not what I mean. If you watch Pierce Brosnan in
‘The Thomas Crown Affair’, Clarke Gable in ‘Gone
With The Wind’, or Tom Cruise in ‘Top Gun’, you’ll
get an idea of what I’m talking about. The
confident/cocky trait is mild overconfidence
combined with humor. Drives women wild.
• Expertise. If you’re an expert in an area that is
interesting to your kind of woman, this can be
attractive. It needs to be presented from a “I know
a lot about this, let me show you” perspective and
not a “I’m cool and you’re not” angle.
• Attention. Women like attention. And interestingly
enough, it’s better to hint at the attention that
you’re giving them than to be too overt about it. If
you say, “I was thinking about you earlier today,
and I just wanted to mention that I really like the
sound of your voice...” it’s much more powerful
than listening to them complain about something
so they think you’re paying attention. Get it?
• Disinterest, Indifference, a Challenge. Most
women are used to being pursued by men in one
way or another. If you are indifferent to a woman,
make her think that you’re only calling because
you’re bored and act almost disinterested sexually,
they’ll often do their very best to get your
attention. Different is good in this case. Again, this
drives most women crazy, and even though they’d
hate to admit it, it’s ultra interesting to them.
• Charm (attention with a polished, smooth
approach). This is hard to describe. Watch a James
Bond movie to get an idea. And watch ‘Dirty Rotten
Scoundrels’. Pay attention to Michael Caine’s
character. Charm is powerful because it has a
certain ‘prince on a white horse’ aspect to it.
• Romantic Imagination and Perspective. Watch
the movie ‘Don Juan DeMarco’ and listen to how
Don Juan interprets the world. Instead of just
looking at the surface of a woman, he looks within
her to find the beautiful part. A romantic
imagination sees opportunities for poetic
comments, interesting stories, fascinating history,
and emotional interpretation in everything.
• Expert in Body Language. This is important, as
women are constantly sending signals. I’ll talk
more about this in a later chapter.
• Sexual Mastery. Women love sex just as much as
men do. But just like everything else in life, a great
lover is not easy to find. Women become instantly
addicted to skillful lovers who know how to make
them feel ecstasy and teach them new ways of
feeling incredible.
Every woman is slightly different. There is no one
magic system to which every woman responds. If what
you’re doing doesn’t work, don’t throw out the system...
try it on a different woman.
The most successful men I know will tell you that they
are only successful because they are able to accept ‘no’
and not take it personally. Again, unsuccessful men take
a ‘rejection’ as a personal assault on their inner child.
Don’t make this mistake.
So start right now. Take a moment and describe the
type of woman you’d like to attract and write down the
qualities that you think will attract her. Then go to work
cultivating these qualities.
The idea is to create your own winning combination
and then find a place to use it that offers the best
chances for success. You want to come across as
interesting, unique, original, and desirable.
By the way, if you don’t know what the women who
you’re interested in are attracted to, ASK! That’s right,
just walk up to them whenever you see one and say,
“Can I ask you a question? I’m sure that you’re probably
in a relationship right now, but will you tell me
something... I want to know what it is that attracts a
woman like you to a man. What do you look for?”
You’ll find that most of the women you pose this
question to will be glad to tell you. As a matter of fact,
you’ll even find that some will help you in other ways if
you ask. They’ll go shopping with you, help you decorate
your house, help you choose a hairstyle... everything.
But most guys are afraid to ask, or they feel like a
puss because they are asking a woman for help. Do
yourself a favor. If you are having trouble, get help.
Women are amazingly generous when they are helping a
man get his ‘attractiveness’ together.

The Six Things That Attract Women

I’ve done a lot of research on this topic, and I believe
that women are most attracted to these six things:
1) Means (Wealth, possessions, gifts to them, or
providing for them)
2) Power (Influence, leadership, ability to provide
safety)
3) Fame
4) Looks (Including height)
5) Exclusivity (Royalty, already married, hard to get,
affiliation)
6) Personality (Humor, creativity, romance,
intelligence, mystique, etc.)
Now, numbers one through five are largely out of
your immediate control. If you’re not rich, you’re probably
not going to get rich this week. If you’re not famous or
tall, you’re probably not going to be in a hit movie or
grow 6 inches in the next 24 hours.
So that leaves us with number six: PERSONALITY.
The good news is that as far as I’m concerned, your
personality is your GREATEST ASSET in the success-with-
women game.
Fortunately, it’s the one thing you can change. And
it’s the one thing that can OVERCOME all the rest. After
you’ve done what you can to look your best, etc. you
have to develop a personality that’s absolutely magnetic.
Now let’s talk about how you can do just that.
By the way, the one quality that attracts women the
most (and keeps them attracted) is not something that
they can initially ‘look’ for. It’s the way they FEEL when
they are with you or thinking of you. If you don’t have
wealth, power, fame, or looks, you’re going to have to
use your personality to make them FEEL good. In the
end, your personality is the most powerful asset you
have.

How Men Usually Find Women

I’ve read several books on mating and courtship
behavior among different species of animals (including
humans!). The funny thing is that humans do just about
the same things as most other animals with slight
variations.
Here are the main ways male animals (humans
included) find females:
• Staking out a small territory among other males
where females come specifically to select between
males who are displaying for them (called Lekking
in the animal kingdom).
• Staking out a larger territory where other males
aren’t allowed and showing that they can provide
for a female because they control a large territory.
• Visiting places where females gather or are likely
to be and displaying for them.
• Choosing a spot where they are very visible and
displaying in hopes that a passing female will show
interest.
Some human equivalents are:
• Hanging out at a gym or spending time on the
beach with other guys to show off for women.
• Buying a big house and inviting women over to see
how successful and rich you are, demonstrating
that you can provide for them.
• Going to a Yoga class where you know there will
be 10 women for every man.
• Becoming famous or popular, thus placing yourself
in the path of many women.
The point is that there’s nothing new under the sun. If
you want to meet women, you have to:
1) Decide what kind of woman you want.
2) Find out what is attractive to her and be it.
3) Go where these women are likely to be (or set up
a situation where they come to you).
4) Approach and engage them (or, if you can figure
out how to get them to approach you, do that).
It’s all the same game. Most men who are failures
with women aren’t willing to do what it takes to be
successful. That’s the bottom line. I’m going to give you
the secret ingredients that attract women and invite you
to combine some of them with your personality in order
to attract the kind of women you’re interested in. The
question is, “Are you willing to do the work that it will
take to be successful?”

Thinking In Time Frames

Here’s a common problem: A man tries to impress a
woman by doing things that show that he’s a good LONG-
TERM RELATIONSHIP kind of guy, but the woman
responds by being stand-offish.
I have read some interesting research that shows that
women have a few main categories in their minds in
which they slot men.
These are:
1) Not interested at all.
2) Interested as a friend.
3) Interested in a long-term relationship.
4) Interested in a sexual relationship.
Here’s the interesting part: If a woman sees a man as
a good potential ‘long-term’ mate, she’ll usually hold back
the sex.
On the other hand, if she gets sexually involved with
a man, she’ll usually still be open to a long-term
relationship.
Most men who want sex make the mistake of doing
things like taking women to dinner, buying them gifts,
and being romantic. This behavior triggers the “Hey, this
guy is good long-term material” category in the woman’s
mind, and they hold back sex.
But if a man does things to turn a woman on earlier in
the game and she gets sexually involved, he can choose
where he wants the relationship to go. Are you with me
on this one?
Go ask some men and women about this idea. They’ll
report back to you what I’m telling you. Women know
that if a man is doing all the big romantic things like
buying her gifts and taking her out, he is displaying
‘courtship’ types of behavior. I mentioned earlier that
women take hints very well and read into things much
more than men. Unfortunately, men have no idea that
their good deeds are being interpreted as long-term
courtship demonstrations. Ahhhh!
So what’s the solution?
The solution is to stop doing the ‘I’m courting you’
things early on, and start by being attractive, interesting,
and sexy. This puts the balance of power in your hands
and puts you more in control.
I’m going to say it again: A woman will get into a
long-term relationship with a man who she’s sleeping
with, but she won’t be as likely to sleep with a man who’s
courting her. Get it?

Your Enemies Are Insecurity and Neediness

Insecurity and neediness are two of the biggest
obstacles to success with women. Insecurity and
neediness are like hemlock and arsenic – either will kill
your attractiveness when dealing with women.
A man is needy when he craves attention or
recognition. He shows that he’s insecure when he ACTS
on these needs.
Insecurity shows up when a man does not feel
comfortable with who he is or comfortable in a given
situation. He acts tentative, weak, and unsure. He tries to
put on a show of confidence which is obviously fake. He
says things that are out of place in an attempt to get
approval.
Women detect insecurity and neediness INSTANTLY.
Here are some examples of insecurity and neediness
to avoid:
• Hanging on a woman. Don’t touch a woman or
crowd her too much in the beginning. Women take
it as a sign of neediness and insecurity. Instead,
lean back and let her become comfortable being
around you.
• Talking or saying negative things about women or
past girlfriends. If you talk too much about past

girlfriends or other women, or say negative things
about them, a woman will judge you to be
insecure.
• Having emotional responses to things. If it’s
obvious to a woman that you easily get upset
about things, then she will judge you to be
insecure.
• Looking to others to make decisions. Women like it
when you decide what’s going to happen and then
do it. If you are always asking, “Well, what do you
think I should do?”, “Where do you want to go
tonight?”, and “What do you want?”, you’ll come
off as needy. Just make decisions and go with it. If
she has a different idea, she’ll let you know.
• Saying or doing things just to be noticed or to get
compliments. I’ve known a lot of men who try to
act cool or show off to get attention. This approach
telegraphs to a woman that you’re insecure and
needy. Don’t do it. If you’re cool, she’ll figure it
out without you telling her.
• Arguing. This is my favorite. Some people feel like
they need to argue with EVERYTHING. If you’re
one of these people, just realize that this is a clear
demonstration that you’re insecure and needy. You
may always be right, but being overly
argumentative is bad for your sex life. Deal with it.
If you really want to argue with something, do it in
a funny way and not in a serious way.

How To Develop A Personality That Is Irresistible To Women

In my experience, it’s far better to ATTRACT a woman
than to CHASE one.
If a woman is ATTRACTED to you, half the game is
over.
In sales, it’s much easier to sell your product to
someone who’s called you and said, “Can you help me?”
than to try to sell to people who you’ve cold called.
Here’s my premise: Women are attracted to men for
certain reasons. When these reasons are met, they
trigger a specific sequence internally. There is a system, a
sequence, or a code, if you will. And once you know what
it is, you can develop a method to follow this sequence.
You can use the fact that there is a ‘genetic mating
sequence’ to help you.
Be Different In An Attractive Way
By studying marketing and sales, I’ve learned that
humans are attracted to things that are unique. They are
also attracted to things that are superior. So I have a
phrase that I use: “Different in a preferential way.” In the
mating game, it pays to be different in an ATTRACTIVE
way.
What I’m about to share with you is a group of
ingredients. These are the different ingredients to which
women are attracted. It’s up to you to take what you
have and to use this list to augment your personality in
such a way that it becomes attractive to the type of
women with whom you’re interested. The key is to be
different in an attractive way.
But make sure that you’re not too different! If you get
too carried away with this idea, you’ll be outside of the
realm of ‘normal’ and you will wind up hurting yourself.
So experiment and test to see what works for you.

Key Points To Remember From Chapter 2

It’s OK to be a MAN.
Remember, women are turned on by ‘masculine’ men.
Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about your
natural desires and attraction to women.
Make A Long-Term Commitment To Practice And
Learn This Material.
Learning to be successful with women isn’t something
you can do overnight.
It takes practice to get this stuff down… but the
reward is more than worth it.
Don’t let ANYTHING stop you from reaching the level
of success you deserve.
Never Stop Improving Your Physical
Appearance.
Stack the odds in your favor by constantly improving
your personal appearance.
When you make an effort to get in shape, maintain
great hygiene, and keep your wardrobe and hairstyle
updated, looking great is only half of the benefit.
You’ll also quickly build your confidence to powerful
new levels all women will notice.
Talk POSITIVELY To Yourself.
If you’re not currently enjoying the kind of success
with women you desire, IT’S NOT YOU.
You simply need to learn the ‘skill’ of attracting
women.
Take a positive mindset when you are learning this
new skill. Give yourself permission to make mistakes, so
long as you learn from them.
Talk to yourself in a positive way and coach yourself
to success. With practice and dedication, you WILL get
this down.
It’s only a matter of time.
Find And Learn From Others Who Are Already
Successful With Women.
This is no better or faster way for you to learn to be
successful with women than meeting and learning from
guys who already have it down.
If you’re serious about getting this part of your life
handled, this is a MUST.
Make it your goal from now on to track down a few of
these guys and watch them in action.
Pay close attention to what they do… and more
importantly, what they DON’T do.
Now that you know what to look for, you’ll be amazed
at what you learn.
Define The Outcome You Desire With Women.
Do you want to gain more confidence around women,
have one-night stands, or find a girlfriend or wife?
You can’t get to where you want without knowing
where you want to go. Set a goal for yourself and make it
happen.

What Outcome Are You Looking For?

Most men that I talk to about this topic really can’t
explain the EXACT outcome that they’re looking for.
So let me ask you...
Are you looking for a one night stand?
Are you looking for a girlfriend?
Are you looking for a wife?
Are you looking to get this part of my life called
‘confidence with women’ handled?
What is it that you’d like to do?
Once you choose an outcome for yourself, you can
apply what you’re learning to that outcome. If you have
no outcome, then you’re going to be like a ship in the
ocean with no particular port as your destination. With no
target, there is a very small chance that you’ll ever be
successful.
Take a moment and write down your goal as it relates
to women. Then think about that goal as you read the
rest of this book.
The idea here is to give yourself a framework to work
within and one to plan around. Failing to plan is planning
to fail.

Find Others

MOST IMPORTANTLY I found and started to hang
around guys who WERE SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN. This
was the biggie. I owe much of my success to the guys
who showed me in the real world what they did. It wasn’t
the books and the people selling tapes and seminars. It
was the guys who were successful in the real world. What
I do now resembles nothing that I’ve really read in a book
or learned from an author.
So the BEST advice I can give you is to find about 5
guys in your area that know what they’re doing and say,
“Hey, I really want to get this part of my life handled…
can I take you to dinner (no kissing) and pick your brain
man?” Be humble and cool, and you’ll make some friends.
Like I said, find about 5 different guys so you can get
different perspectives and see how it all fits together.
By the way, go read Chapter 10 in Think and Grow
Rich about the ‘Master Mind’ group. IF YOU DO NOTHING
ELSE, DO THIS ONE THING. IT WILL MAKE THE
DIFFERENCE.

Internal States

Finally, I’m going to address the idea of your ‘states’.
By ‘state’ I mean the feeling that you have in your body.
Can you remember a time when you felt happy and
excited?
Can you remember a time when you felt powerful and
energetic?
If you can, then you can HAVE THESE FEELINGS ANY
TIME YOU WANT THEM. Most people don’t use their
memories to help them feel good because they say,
“Well, that’s not really how I’m feeling; I’m just imagining
it.” Well, I have news for you: You’re ALWAYS just
imagining it. You might as well imagine it at times when
you need it instead of having it happen on accident!
Here’s how to apply this idea:
Write down three states that you’d like to be able to
put yourself into anytime you’d like. Then, write down
three times in your life when you felt each of those
states. Finally, close your eyes and put yourself into each
of the three situations that made you feel the state that
you want. Also, do SOMETHING UNIQUE with your body
as you’re remembering. For instance, if you’d like to feel
powerful and confident, while you’re remembering times
when you felt this way, breathe out quickly while
puckering your lips.
If you do this process of remembering the states and
exhaling quickly at the same time, all you have to do in
the future is close your eyes, breathe out quickly while
remembering the feelings, and you’ll have the states that
you want. It’s like having a ‘push’ button for feeling good
about yourself.
Next, you have to practice putting yourself into your
three powerful states when you’re in different
environments. So go to different places and practice
getting yourself into your states with distractions, etc.
This might take some doing, but once you have it
mastered, you’ll be able to get yourself into a positive
state when you’re not feeling it to begin with (Could this
exercise be useful when you’re feeling shy or afraid to
meet someone? Maybe!)
I also started keeping a personal journal of everything
that I was learning and doing, so I could reflect on it.

It All Comes Down To Your Skills.

Having a problem? You need a new skill.
If you have some area of your life that isn’t working
for you, you probably need a new SKILL.
I realized a few years ago that most people look at
themselves and say things like, “There must be
something WRONG WITH ME. I don’t know why. I just
can’t do it.”
But, in fact, the problem wasn’t something ‘wrong’
with them; the problem was that they needed to learn a
new skill or a set of skills.
Meeting women comes down to SKILLS. If you’re
having a problem in a particular area, get new skills to
deal with it. For instance, if you have learned to meet
women and get phone numbers, you might start having
them flake out on you and not show up for planned
meetings. Solution: A new skill. You need to learn the
skill of getting women to meet you after making plans.
There are many parts to being successful with
women, and they all work together. You may already
know some of them, you might learn a few more from
this book, but if you’re missing a key (like how and when
to kiss a woman, for instance) you’ll still keep running
into challenges.
Remember, if you’re having a challenge, you need a
skill. So remind yourself of this idea, come back to this
book to get the information, and then practice until you
have the SKILL!
I began by creating self-image exercises based on
NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and Timeline
Therapy, and doing them all the time. (Read Frogs Into
Princes by Richard Bandler and John Grinder and The
Secret of Creating Your Future by Tad James for more
info.)
Here’s one exercise that’s helped me tremendously:
First, I close my eyes and imagine a picture of the
person that I want to become. I imagine how I’ll be
dressed, the expression on my face, how I’m standing...
all the details. Then, I throw that picture up into the air
and have it start raining copies of it all around me for as
far as I can see... into my past and future... all around
me. Exercises like these sometimes sound silly, but they
help direct your mind towards the person that you want
to become.
One area that I’ve studies extensively is what’s
commonly called ‘internal dialogue’ or ‘self-talk’. This is
simply the way that you talk to yourself inside your head.
Most people are talking to themselves all day long. But
most people are talking NEGATIVELY to themselves
instead of talking POSITIVELY. Negative self-talk is, in my
opinion, one of the primary causes of low self-esteem,
giving up, and a lack of interest in even trying.
If you tell yourself something enough times, you’ll
begin to BELIEVE it. This new belief will take on a mind of
its own and start creating its own self-talk.
Most people who have negative beliefs also have
negative self-talk that creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. If
this is you, STOP RIGHT NOW.
I may be the first person that’s ever pointed this out
to you, so it might sound a little strange. Or, I might be
reminding you of something you already know. In any
event, make a commitment to yourself to start talking
positively to yourself and to be encouraging from now on.
Put it on your calendar. Send yourself e-mails. Do
whatever you have to do so you remember to be nice to
yourself when you talk to yourself.
If you’re one of those people that likes being
negative, arguing with everything, finding why things can
never work for you, and why everyone is wrong, then do
me and yourself a favor and delete this book from your
hard drive and e-mail me to ask for a refund. You’ve
made a choice to be negative with yourself, and I’m not
even interested in helping you see a better way. People
who have made the choice to be negative about
everything are usually playing out a drama that’s beyond
what I’m interested in addressing and probably beyond
the power of this book to change.
If, on the other hand, you are one of the people who
is willing to give new things a try and agree to begin
saying things like, “I can do something if I choose to” and
“I can change if I really want to”, then I think you will be
successful.
The key here is to begin taking a positive mindset and
talking to yourself in a positive way.
Here’s an exercise for you to do: Take out a piece of
paper and write down all the negative thoughts you have
about yourself, all the negative things you say to
yourself, and all the areas where a ‘positive’ outlook
would help you. Then, start writing down positive things
you can say to yourself instead and begin saying them.
Keep working on this exercise until you stop saying
negative things to yourself. This could take you years like
it did for me. But it’s worth it, so trust me. This one
process will improve all areas of your life, so use it
everywhere.
It’s also important to make mental pictures and
rehearse the success that you’d like to have. As you’re
going to sleep, create mental movies of yourself being
successful in different kinds of situations and with
different types of women. Mental rehearsal is the next
best thing to actually doing something, so do it as often
as you can.
If you make a mental movie of the ideal you doing
the things that I’m going to teach you and review in your
mind every day, you will see improvement and results. If
you don’t do this part, you’ll be wondering why you can’t
seem to get it right when the opportunity comes along.

The Attitude

When I first started out learning how to meet women,
I remember that I had a feeling inside like, “I’m afraid to
just walk up to a strange woman and start talking.”
I thought of all kinds of things that could go wrong.
“What if she has a boyfriend nearby who easily gets
jealous and wants to beat me up?”
“What if she says something that puts me down and
makes me feel bad?”
“What if she says something to someone else about
me being a loser because I tried to talk to her?”
All of these different ideas combined inside of me to
give me a general fear of meeting women.
I’ve since learned that none of my worst fears would
come true when meeting a new woman. I’ve met
hundreds and hundreds of women over the last few years
– and none (NONE!) have reacted or caused anything to
happen that I couldn’t handle in the moment.
In the process I realized something very important:
No tactic works on every woman. Some women are not
interested in meeting someone right now.
Some women are lesbians and have no interest in
men.
Some women are happily married or in a relationship
and don’t want to meet someone new right now.
Some women are angry.
Some are cold.
My guess is that in a random group of 100 women,
only about 30 of them might be open to meeting
someone new right now (in a romantic sense).
What this means is that 70 AREN’T interested in
meeting someone new.
And of the 30 who are interested in meeting someone
new, maybe only 15 are nice, friendly, happy people. Do
you see where I’m going?
If you want to be successful at meeting women, you
have to understand that many of the women you talk to
aren’t interested. Most people take things like this
PERSONALLY. Instead of just moving on to the next
woman, they get all uptight and feel bad about it. I’ve
now learned a better way.
I also learned something else that helped me
dramatically.
I learned that women are used to being approached,
flirted with, and picked up on in general by men. Even
women who are what you might call ‘average’ are
approached by men on a pretty regular basis. So when
you’re about to approach a woman, keep in mind that it’s
not like you’re going to try something that she’s never
heard of before and shock her. You may not be totally
comfortable yet just walking up to any woman, but she’ll
be relatively OK with it.
And remember, if she’s not interested, it’s most likely
that she’s not interested in anyone right now. Of course
it’s true that she might not be interested in your ‘type’ or
you may have acted in a way that she didn’t like, but the
fact is that no matter what happens, you’ll find that it’s
no big deal. Just move on.
When I first started my journey, I realized that some
of the greatest memories that my friends and I have are
when something bad happened to one of us. Looking
back, we usually laugh about these things and make fun
of each other and ourselves.
So I thought about it, and I realized that getting
rejected really harshly by a woman would actually be a
funny thing. I imagined my best friend and I saying,
“Hey, remember that time when I walked up to that girl
in the mall and said “Hi”, but she told me that she doesn’t
date men who look like Pee Wee Herman? Ha ha ha ha...”
Think of it this way: If you get shut down really hard,
just tell a couple of friends. They may not let you live it
down, but at least you can laugh about it! (And if you
have friends that won’t help you laugh about it, then you
need some new ones.)
Another part of the attitude equation that I realized is
that different women respond to different looks,
personalities, etc. One woman might only like men who
dress in suits and ties, while another might only like
women who dress like bad boy rockers. Whatever style
you develop, DON’T CHANGE IT JUST BECAUSE SOME
WOMEN DON’T LIKE IT.
The price of big success is having some people dislike
you. So once you find a style that works for you, stick
with it, and only change it because YOU choose to do so!

Self-Image, Self-Talk, And Other Self Stuff

The way I see it, underpinning all of these outer
details and techniques is your self-image, confidence,
personality, and all of that other intangible stuff that
takes a bit to get under control. So let me address how I
got my personal self-image stuff together before I talk
about what I do specifically. (By the way, this is the most
important part of this book. All of my success has flowed
from my attitude and confidence – not the other way
around. So if you read nothing else, read this part.)

Do As Much As You Can To Improve

First, I looked at myself. I asked, “If I were the type
of woman who I would like to attract (I like super hot,
very intelligent women), what would make me want to be
with a man?”
So I started reading, listening to tapes, going to
seminars… you name it. And I started to work on my
‘presentation’ of myself.
I now think that it’s important to get EVERY
POSSIBLE thing going for you that you can.
Here’s my take: If you have messed up teeth, for
instance, that still shouldn’t prevent you from dressing
well. So don’t let it.
Get a cool hair style. (It’s OK to ask a stylist what’s
cool and get help on this one.)
Buy nice clothes (Don’t tell me that you don’t have
the $$$. Get on eBay, or go to the Nordstrom Rack and
look at the clearance items. I did it to start.). If you will
do just a few key things, they won’t necessarily HELP you
attract women, but they’ll get rid of things that are
PREVENTING you from attracting women that you DON’T
EVEN REALIZE.
Make no mistake that if you’re interested in
ATTRACTIVE women, you’d better realize right now that
these things make a difference. You don’t have to work
out ten times a week, but get your body in at least OK
shape. You don’t have to have perfect teeth, but make
sure that they’re clean and your breath is great.
My personal view: If you’re overweight, poorly
groomed, etc., these are all things that are within your
control. You should get them handled for YOURSELF. If
you don’t, then I’m going to assume that you don’t have
very much self-respect, in which case almost NOTHING I
tell you can help.
Women notice details that most men don’t. They
notice if your belt and shoes match. They notice what
kinds of foods you like to eat. They notice all the details
and then make assumptions about every other area of
your life based on these details.
So learn what nice shoes are and how to keep them
nice. Figure out how colors and clothing go together and
what is cool. It’s worth it.
I wasn’t ‘cool’ when I started, but now I’ve learned
how to become more so. Huge difference. (Am I saying
that you can’t attract women if you wear Nike’s and have
messed up hair? No. But remember the old saying: “A
blind pig can find an occasional truffle…”)
Of course, don’t overdo it.
I’ve tried the whole dressing well bit in the past to the
point of looking like I’m trying too hard. Now I dress more
‘casual nice’. I wear a lot of Calvin Klein T-Shirts with
black jeans and nice black shoes, etc. This look with a
nice leather coat works well in almost any situation. This
is a look that you can put together for a couple or few
hundred bucks (for several sets).
Here’s my mindset: Keep improving all the time, even
if it’s the SMALLEST DETAIL.
I noticed recently that at least once every time I go
out, a girl will ask me for a light. I always just said, “I
don’t smoke” or “No”. A couple weeks ago, I said “Ah-Ha”
and went to the lighter store SPECIFICALLY to find the
coolest lighter that anyone has ever invented. I bought
this torch lighter that make a huge flame. It looks like a
welding flame. So what do you think happened the first
time I went out with it? Right… got asked for a light… and
got a ‘wow’ reaction from her, which started a
conversation.
A list of random things to improve:
• Keep all nails on your body short, clean, and neat.
• The only place where hair is good is on your head.
Keep all other hair trimmed, or have it removed.
Nose and ear hairs are a no-no. Bushy eyebrows
are a no-no. Bushy pubic hairs are a no-no.
• Keep the teeth clean. Get a tongue scraper and
use it a lot. Floss. Use mouthwash. Fix any
blatantly wrong teeth. Do it.
• Wash yourself three times when you shower. Dirt
and body odors don’t come off with just a rinse.
Wash your body completely three times before you
meet a woman.
• Use a good deodorant (I don’t like anti-
perspirants, as they block your lymph system).
• Keep feet, shoes, and socks ultra clean. No foot
odor is permitted, period.
• Get a good cologne. Try Dolce and Gabanna,
Cerruti Image, or Gaultier for men. And don’t
OVER-do it! No cologne is better than a lot of
cologne. One or two squirts, applied an hour
before you’re going to be meeting women, is best.
Remember, women notice the details and assume you
handle everything else the same way.

My Story

I made the decision a few years ago that I needed to
get the area of my life ‘handled’ called ‘dealing with
women’. So I made a decision and a commitment to
myself and my best friend that I would do whatever it
took to learn and ‘figure this out’. (Read Chapter 1 from
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill for more on this
mindset.)
Some background: The girlfriends that I had in the
past were mostly from luck now that I reflect on it. They
were there, and I felt lucky to have them as my girlfriend
at the time.
But I never knew how to approach women I didn’t
know, and I could sit in a bar for three hours making eye
contact with a woman and never have the nerve to go
talk to her. Right now I’m just turning 30, and I’m about
5’10” and 160 pounds. I think I’m reasonably good
looking, but I’ve never been the kind of guy that women
just walk up and approach. (I say this to give you a frame
of reference in relationship to the comments I make
relating to looks, etc.) I’ve made myself more attractive
by paying attention, learning, and using what works.
When I made the decision to get this part of my life
handled, I decided that instead of trying to start with an
angle (working at a strip club, becoming famous for
something, etc.) that I would like to learn in a way that
gave me power to act with just my personality and
presentation. In other words, I wanted to make this part
of who I was rather than a ‘trick’.
I have a rule of thumb in life that I use… it takes
about 2-4 years just to get ‘good’ at something. And I
mean JUST TO GET GOOD. Think martial arts, playing an
instrument… anything. (Read Chapter 1 of Mastery by
Leonard for more wisdom on this topic.)
Sure, you can have some success and fun while
learning, but experience has shown me that to really ‘get’
something and to be able to use it in many contexts
successfully, you need to apply yourself for 2-4 years.
THEN, I think it takes another 2-4 years to become a
‘master’ of whatever you’re doing.
At the 10+ year level is usually where the Genius
level really kicks in…
My point here is to say that I’ve been applying myself
for a few years now, and I am now at the point where I
feel confident and in control around women. I encourage
you to make this a long-term commitment rather than
just trying to get an instant cure. It will be worth it in the
long run.
If you’re just plain lazy and want a shortcut, go ahead
and try all of them. But you’ll most likely find, like most
others do, that massive success with this material takes
practice, effort, and a commitment.

It’s OK To Be A Man

After many years of studying, researching, and trying
many different things, I’ve now realized that there is a
conspiracy against men being successful with women.
It’s very real, and it’s very pervasive in our culture.
Let me explain.
Most men that I know have some kind of ‘feeling’ that
it’s wrong in some way to sleep with more than one
woman at a time. (I’m not even referring to a Ménage à
Trois, either. I’m talking about plain old run-of-the-mill
dating a couple of women at a time here.)
But most women that I know have more than just a
‘feeling’ about this idea. Most women are outspoken and
very forward about the idea that it’s WRONG for most
men to date and sleep with more than one woman.
You can see it in their faces and hear it in their voices
when they talk about this topic.
If you know what I’m talking about, give me a silent
nod here.
What I’ve discovered by doing my homework is that
the moral idea of monogamy (having only one partner at
a time) has been formalized, passed down, and force-fed
to us culturally by rulers, religions, and women for
thousands of years.
I don’t mean to get too far out here, but I feel that
understanding from where these beliefs came and how
they are promoted will liberate many readers.
Onward.
Anywhere from hundreds to thousands of years ago,
rulers of lands kept large harems of women. These
harems were guarded carefully to prevent any males
except the rulers from having access to these women.
The penalty for sleeping with one of the ruler’s women
could be, in an extreme case, your own death and the
deaths of everyone in your family and village. (Back then
there were bigger risks involved!)
These rulers kept so many women not just for the
sexual variety that it provided them, but also for the
reproductive power that it gave them. These rulers often
had detailed records kept so they could copulate with only
the most fertile women and maximize the woman’s
chances of pregnancy and passing on their own genes.
So what do you think these rulers did to protect their
harems?
Right! They passed laws (from which they were
exempt) to promote monogamy.
In these times there was a great shortage of women,
so these laws would discourage married men (those lucky
enough to find a woman) from seeking sex outside of
their marriage and therefore further protect the ruler’s
harem.
Next, we have the church.
Many religions prohibit sex, make sex ‘wrong’, give it
some name with a negative connotation like ‘fornication’,
or in one way or another discourage it.
I once heard a wise man say, “Religions take
everything that your DNA naturally wants to do to survive
and procreate and makes it wrong.” Why? Well, if you’re
busy fighting your internal drives, and you see God as the
only way to cleanse yourself of these ‘bad’ thoughts, then
you are a much better SHEEP.
If you want to get people to follow you, first confuse
them, then convince them that you know the way to get
them out of their confused state. Easy.
Finally, we have women. This is the interesting one.
If you look at it from an ‘economic’ standpoint, it
doesn’t benefit women at all to have their man running
around having sex with other women. She can only be
pregnant with one child at a time, and she can only raise
a limited number at a time. So having a man who’s out
spreading his seed is BAD BAD BAD for business for her.
When you’re out spreading seed, you can’t be working
or at home helping. Even worse, you might have other
kids with other women who will further divide your
attention and income. (By the way, I’m not saying that
there’s anything wrong with women’s perspectives. I’m
just saying that if you look at it from their point of view,
there’s not a lot of benefit to having a man who likes to
sleep with a lot of women.)
So anything that promotes monogamy like religion is
seen as ‘right’ to many women, as it goes along with what
they think and feel.
Now let’s talk about men.
My research leads me to believe that men are
‘naturally’ inclined to have one main woman to whom
they are devoted, but that they like to sleep with other
women as the opportunity arises. You can believe what
you want, but do yourself a favor and read Matt Ridley’s
book, The Red Queen, before you start speculating.
Think about it. There are major advantages to men
(or at least to their genes) to sleep with many women.
First, it doesn’t take a lot of energy, and there’s not
very much risk involved. (I realize that there is risk of
disease, etc., but for the moment think about the fact
that a man could probably father dozens of children
before a disease would take him out, making the tradeoff,
genetically speaking, a no-brainer.)
I personally believe that men are hard-wired to look
for sexual opportunities and seek out sexual variety. (Let
me also add that just because you’re hard-wired to like
sweet foods doesn’t mean that you should only eat sweet
foods. This will lead you to sickness and eventually to
disease and death.)
With this in mind, I’d like you to ask yourself:
What are my beliefs about monogamy?
Where did they come from?
Do I like my beliefs?
Do my beliefs conflict with my inner drives?
Would I like to change what I believe based on this
new information?
n any event, from now forward, don’t let anyone or
anything make you feel bad because of your NATURAL
desires and attraction to women. (I’m of course talking
about reasonable desires and attractions. If you like to
think about hurting women, underage women, etc., then
do yourself a favor and get some help.)
But if you’re like me and you were given a set of
ideas about women that you are now realizing to be less
than useful, then move on and start thinking about the
subject differently.
My perspective is that sleeping with different women
breaks no ‘law of the universe’, and it’s not an ethical
dilemma for me. Any objections that are in existence
were created mostly to control and not to liberate. My
perspective is also that it’s important to be honest with
people about your views. And yes, this means talking to
women about them. In my life, I’ve mostly had long-term
girlfriends. And if I tell a woman that I’m going to be
faithful, then I am.
But if I’m single, then I see nothing wrong with dating
as many women as I want. (Keep in mind that there are
some crazy viruses, diseases, and other scary bugs that
want to jump on your wiener. So use good judgment.)
I’ve found that if you explain this topic like I just have
to a woman, you’ll often show her a perspective that
she’s never even considered. My experience is that
women actually LOVE to hear a man talking this way. It’s
refreshing to women to hear a man being open about this
controversial topic rather than hiding his ideas. It’s
important to remember what I said above: “It’s OK To Be
A Man.”
If you are who you are and make no apologies for
yourself, you will be taken seriously. But if you approach
the topic cautiously and act like you’re trying to see if
she’s OK with your views, you’ll be seen as weak and
insecure.
I’ve found that most women will accept you as you
are. But if you try to act like someone that you’re not and
you’re found out, you will be treated with disrespect and
ex-communicated.